Dentists are not my friend, in the past 18 months I have had more latex fingers in my mouth than I would like to remember. I am still rather shocked by the decline of my teeth, I was one of those kids who were told by dentists "How great your teeth are!" The only issue was trying not to smile when I was lying that I had cleaned my teeth that morning, whilst hiding the lollipop in my small fist. My dental health first started to wobble like a baby tooth when my wisdom teeth tore into existence. This oral uprising instilled a general mouth wide revolution, many of the rebels have been since placated or silenced (removed), but I am still one extraction away from orthodontic peace.I have not had this much trouble since a certain drunken night in Grammercy Park New York in late December 2000, where I attended a swish party and in good form promptly drank from the punch bowl with cupped hands. 5 hours and 3 liters of booze later, I stumbled onto the roof slurring to my companion I wanted to see the Twin Towers (sigh) in the brooding blizzard. I remember seeing the steel grey bases disappearing into the low grey cloud, like the huge static legs of a monstrous robot. I then plunged head first into a block of ice and concrete. Bashing out my front tooth. It took four months of painful root canal, castings, and color matching before I had ole chomper back in beer bottle opening form. Suffice to say NYE 2001 was not the party I had imagined, sitting on the floor in a Greenwich apartment, watching the ball drop, trying to eat a donut without teasing out the blistering agony of an exposed nerve.
Today I experienced my latest tooth rescue mission, I was rather shocked when the dentist asked the assistant to find a smaller needle as she hated large needles. To the dentists "frustration" there was only the super large needle, she again sighed as she came at me with a needle that looked like its was rather used to euthanize horses. SHE hates big needles!?
Lady, I am the one you are sticking it into!
Anyway after a hour, 7 types of whining drills, vacuum cleaner and a hair drier in my mouth later, I was out and paying for the privilege. Wondering when it will be all over and hoping I would be able to drink liquid again without drooling it down my shirt.
