It is funny how things come together to give you the resolution you need to a funny situation. You may remember back in the heady days of 2007 I had a major crush on the trainer at the gym. Well that progressed to no-where town, the lingering looks over the cross trainer remained but with no follow through. Not without trying though, a couple of stuttered words and a few head dives into the changing room went an approach was aborted at the final second. I ended up being a bit frustrated with it, I was going to bash my head against a wall but I already did that by accident.But things happen to end things for you, this week I had two friends come into town Susan from London and Robert from Los Angeles. On Saturday night Rob and I went to Slide, and as we walked through the sliding doors I spied the trainer propping up the bar. Finally! I thought. So after Rob and I got drinks I went up and said ‘Hi’. My heart was in my nostril as I tried to act all cool, but due to his monosyllabic answers and disinterested demeanor I was getting the feeling I may as well be covered in dog poo.
So I returned to my friend and we were going to finish our drinks and leave the trainer in his box. Until the trainer came up and asked us to go to a club over the road, my eyebrows with my deflated hopes.
We went over the road and arrived at the funniest party I have ever been too, as we slipped between the leather curtain Rob and I realized we had arrived at a leather bear party. The room was surging with hairy, half naked men mostly over the age of 45. Rob and I stood against a wall, holding our beers like they were decent protection from the sweaty mush. Not unlike a pig pen.
It was then I saw the real reason I was getting no where with the trainer, he had whipped off his shirt and was promptly molesting a 50 year old hairy leather bear. Rob and I were astounded. At that point, shame weighting down my head like a paper weight, I ran across the room hoping for a teleport machine to take me away from this leather encrusted nightmare. It was that point I ran into a 21 year old who promptly made out with me on the dance floor. I know, crazy! Let’s just preface that with the fact I had been drinking since 5pm, so a tad bit fast. But in my defense, the 21 year old was cute and I had just wasted months on a guy who would have more fun at Taronga zoo than with me so it was rather well timed to take my mind off the utter humiliation of miss reading a situation so badly.
Oh well..just dreading returning to the gym today. But give me a week, it will be fun. I guess I have learned to sort out these situations before they out last their use by date. Oh and never go to a leather bar again.
