I recently met someone who is quite different from anyone I have met before. Among being a kind, nice guy with a decent head on his shoulders. He seems to carry himself with a type of humanity and soul that makes me think he is something quite special. We have gone out a few times and each date has just been easy. By easy I mean, just relaxed and fun. No games, no ego. Just getting to know someone who is interesting, amazingly refreshing. It's hard, like i am starting from step one again. I have become so use to the games, that it takes me back when someone is game free. This has made me truly stop and pay attention. He is a Kiwi so that also explains his honest and laid back attitude. But the thing i am worried about is my own neurotic brain farts.
It is common for most people doubt themselves when they meet someone who turns their head, and after a couple years of career shifts, health scares, indifferent men and all the subsequent stresses and changes in focus as a result. His arrival comes at a time i feel the most together and certain of myself. But all that becomes shaken slightly when you doubt yourself especially in the presence of a new paramour, more so when he seems genuinely seems to be quite a find. To exercise these goblins I have to remind myself to believe in myself, and in what he sees in me. I also remind myself that relationships take time, and if he is worth as much I suspect he is, time is the best thing to iron out the creases from emotional upsets. So is love.
Regardless of the outcome of the present situation, it seems it is time for me to settle these old hurts to focus on a future where i can be happy, settled and have a person to share this with. The change begins with me.
It is common for most people doubt themselves when they meet someone who turns their head, and after a couple years of career shifts, health scares, indifferent men and all the subsequent stresses and changes in focus as a result. His arrival comes at a time i feel the most together and certain of myself. But all that becomes shaken slightly when you doubt yourself especially in the presence of a new paramour, more so when he seems genuinely seems to be quite a find. To exercise these goblins I have to remind myself to believe in myself, and in what he sees in me. I also remind myself that relationships take time, and if he is worth as much I suspect he is, time is the best thing to iron out the creases from emotional upsets. So is love.
Regardless of the outcome of the present situation, it seems it is time for me to settle these old hurts to focus on a future where i can be happy, settled and have a person to share this with. The change begins with me.
