Grottiest Flat Ever!

Jeez words can't describe, the state this flat is in. Apparently two cats are lost, feared dead (or buried) under all this crap. Just wait till you see the toilet! PUKE www.buymydump.com

Music to say "F%$K You" to

Aaah were would we be without that angry break up song to get you going in the morn. Probably still crying in the shower rubbing soap into your eyes. But we are not, any way here are my recommendations for some "get bent you fool" songs. They work and make you run like a mutha on the treadmill:

Tears dry on their own – Amy Winehouse
Hung Up / Sorry / Nobody Knows Me - Madonna
I Don’t Give A Fuck - Peaches
What goes around comes around – Justin Timberlake
Wheel – John Mayer
I Don’t Think So - Kelis
Say it right – Nelly Furtado
Handle Me - Robyn
Kiss You off – Sister Sisters
Don’t Get You – Sneaky Sound System
No Regrets – Robbie Williams
Far From Home - Tiga

WORK!

Working Working, is a good trick to get over a rubbish man. You may feel like laying down on train tracks and chewing live electrical wires, but NO i would rather put on my new $2000 hot suit and go out and work, while looking hot. Did I mention i looked hot? So I say "go on and stuff yourself you silly man, i am amazing with church bells on, and hot". Anyhoo, back on track... Last night was a proper good example of beavering away. We successfully pulled of a launch last night for our client Jurlique and their amazing Bondi Beach Concept Store. The event went really well, considering it was a Monday, in Bondi and horror weather was threatening. It was a quite long day and I was relieved though to crawl home into my trackies and eat pizza watching a disaster movie. PS: starting looking at flats, have a viewing tomorrow. Let you know how that goes.

Pics care of our mate: Kris Baum www.krisbaum.com

BAAAAAHHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA!

LEGO MADONNA!!

Work it or loose it

I think its universally agreed that when your personal life suddenly turns to compost, you turn to distractions. Rather hookers or drugs. I am throwing myself into work.

Here is some images from a recent client summer shoot I produced, hope you like.

The Idea

10 years ago this week, I left New Zealand to embark on my life overseas. It seems so very far away when I look back over that time, being a rather green Kiwi kid hoping off the jet in Amsterdam, journal and a rather anorexic wallet in hand. It’s crazy to think about all the concepts and values I held dear when I left and what has shifted and what has become a priority or a moot point. Early on in my trip I came out, which provided to be the biggest single hurdle I have faced in the way I considered myself and my place in the world. Everything that occurred after was effected to some degree, it was like having a thick heavy carpet being pulled off your head and taking a long time to get use to the light in the swirl of dust. I went from being very happy to being very low, a seesaw of emotions and introspection that must have made me seem insular and goofy.

My hunt for a career path and a goal for the future saw me focus on setting myself on a path to greater possibilities, this occur with its own battles. Interning in magazines where they would rather step on your foot rather than acknowledge your existence by stopping, late nights of the service industry, which lead to temptations that come with a somewhat inverted lifestyle going to bed at 5am and waking at 3pm. I kind of look back on those days with a lonely kind of nostalgia, the hard work and the mini dramas that seemed so serious and all consuming.
I have succeed in some ways, and failed in others. I am still single and never had a thought I would be at 31. I assumed I would have someone special when I went through life’s biggest ups and downs, but does that make me a weaker or stronger person for doing it alone?

One thing I do miss, is the fearless way I went about approaching love and relationships. I use to throw myself into these situations, strike up conversations with anyone, fly to other countries all in the name of finding someone special. How can confidence grow with certain things but reduce with others. You would think time would make you more savvy with partners. Skipping forward and now I have met someone who considers some attention, and I am doubting myself and every hiccup is inspected with CSI detail. Because of this I am now concerned that I have damaged things with the first person in 4 years I have had an interest in, but if you ask me what I think I did. I am not so sure, I just feel I have ruined it.

What is that?? A friend told me you have to watch what you play out in your head as they could end up happening. But could it be I am looking for problems where there are none? Can I create my own hell when I should be happy?

I am not sure what I am scared of, being dumped for someone buffer, smarter, dumber, younger, older, richer or hotter? These things have already happened in the past, why am I still scared.

How funny it is that just a few weeks ago I was so sure of myself and happy that I was a person I could like and now I doubt every thought and move.
The guy travels a fair bit, has a place in the country and is there a fair bit doing renovations, so it has proved a bit hard to stay in contact when I he is away. This I sometimes construe as a lack of interest and work myself up into a tornado-like whizz of hysteria.

I am still trying to iron myself out, as I am in serious potential of losing my shit and ruining something new. I need to figure how to sort myself. Keep busy though, keep my fingers busy and away from the phone. Maybe a dried pasta hobby or miniature basket weaving. It’s so hard, as I though these things were supposed to be easy, but it’s seems the greatest struggle you have in life is not with anyone else but with yourself and your own cruel confidence killers.

That aside I still hold true to the I guess I have always had an idea about love. Maybe idea is not right, an imagined analogy seems more apt.
I see myself walking through life, like walking down a path, and every now and then I pass someone who has meant something to me, and as I walk I half expect them to stop. Take a moment. So far most of them have kept on walking. So I kept going, sure in the fact I would meet someone, that one day someone would make me want to stand still for a while. I feel that way now, I have stopped, now all my nail biting is waiting for them to stop walking too.

I am still hopeful this will happen, sometime.

Relationship - 101

I recently met someone who is quite different from anyone I have met before. Among being a kind, nice guy with a decent head on his shoulders. He seems to carry himself with a type of humanity and soul that makes me think he is something quite special. We have gone out a few times and each date has just been easy. By easy I mean, just relaxed and fun. No games, no ego. Just getting to know someone who is interesting, amazingly refreshing. It's hard, like i am starting from step one again. I have become so use to the games, that it takes me back when someone is game free. This has made me truly stop and pay attention. He is a Kiwi so that also explains his honest and laid back attitude. But the thing i am worried about is my own neurotic brain farts.

It is common for most people doubt themselves when they meet someone who turns their head, and after a couple years of career shifts, health scares, indifferent men and all the subsequent stresses and changes in focus as a result. His arrival comes at a time i feel the most together and certain of myself. But all that becomes shaken slightly when you doubt yourself especially in the presence of a new paramour, more so when he seems genuinely seems to be quite a find. To exercise these goblins I have to remind myself to believe in myself, and in what he sees in me. I also remind myself that relationships take time, and if he is worth as much I suspect he is, time is the best thing to iron out the creases from emotional upsets. So is love.

Regardless of the outcome of the present situation, it seems it is time for me to settle these old hurts to focus on a future where i can be happy, settled and have a person to share this with. The change begins with me.