Tableclothes everywhere.. beware!

Bleeding art students everyone, THIS is what Lady Blah Blah wore to her college graduation. THIS! The expression on the girl's face behind says it all don’t you think, somebody’s Edwardian funeral parlour is going to be quite bare this winter.

Conflicted I am about Blah Blah, yes she writes her own material, yes she is very creative, yes she has landed like a fat bird turd in the middle of pop culture. It seemed such a short time ago when we did not suddenly explode into screams of “Raaaraaa ooo laalaa gaga romamaa” at the supermarket or make claws out of our hands when shopping for Dettol. Look I think she is just what the Dr. Dre ordered, someone who shows Shitney and X-Tina and Miley Virus up for what they are - The musical equivalent of blood clots. But I do wish she would tone down the hysterical over dressing and blithering videos that make those Siamese Latvian transvestite art film students look positively mainstream.

I remember hearing her first track online 2 years ago and thinking “interesting” as I tented my hands and stroked my fluffy white cat, but for all the hype her songs are pretty average and the only one I would have jitterbugged to ‘Telephone’, was thrashed so much on the radio that I would sooner evacuate my dinner than boogie to it now. Popping on my caring father hat *pop*, I am concerned that she will burn out too soon, all the crazy costumes and hype may deflate the tires on her Pussy Wagon before we get the really good juice out of her talent orange. The general public are quite fickle and this 'madwoman dressed in skinned Muppet thing' may get pretty tired after about 3 albums. I wish I was old enough to remember the hype when Madonna burst out of her pod to terrorize the world, I do remember a lot of buzz and chat that she was a woman of filthy morals and even hairier armpits but that's about it. I was too busy choreographing battle scenes with my Masters of the Universe to Like a Virgin to care.

I am just concerned about someone who can’t separate the fiction from the fact, you never saw Madonna walking around inside Rosemary's Baby's recycled cot fabric and a Vietnamese peasants hat. The new video for (WANK!) Alejandro makes me think the (WANK!) crazy is only just (WANK!) beginning, 9 mins long!!! WTF!? The last time I saw an epic like that was …..well……Lady Blah Blah….but before then was those visual rants the late Michael Jackson use to make in the 90’s. Who has the time to watch that, I have too many fish to gut and fake tranny nails to mail to penguins to make time for that silliness.

So to summarize, Lady GaGa is promising. Just want the world needed. But surely it about time to show what is under all the guff.

Note: It turns out the event was her sisters graduation...hmmm attention seeker says what?

Look who found their old face again!

I know these images were released last week I think…. But it took me a while to sit on this blog entry and figure out what to say.

All I can say is ole Madge is looking…good again. Not sure what she has done but gone are the puffy cheek injections and uncomfortable Botox lips. This odd work has faded to a comfortable level to reveal her old face. These images from her shoot with Interview Magazine are amazing, very Rizzo meets psycho ex nun with a crucifix fetish. Though the interview with Gus Van Sant is pure verbal masturbation, I am just stunned at how wicked she looks. Wicked in a ‘great’ way, not in a green witch “I’ll get you and your little dog too” kind of way. She even left her knickers mark on the picture to say ‘hey world, not photo shopped’, I am sure there has been a few magic wands waved here and there but for the most part looks pretty natural.

She looks like good old Madonna again and without any obvious photo shop fun, she no longer looking like some possessed crotch thrusting Madame Tussard waxwork of herself, which I am now lobbying as the real reason Madge seemed a bit odd of late. Poor dear must have locked herself in the basement whilst this doppelganger terrorized the world with a rather sophomoric album, paraded around on stage looking like an emaciated Balinese cat in a blond weave and rekindled a relationship with that bore Gwyneth Paltrow……..*snooooorrrrrrrrrreee*…….sorry I nodded off but that’s what she does to me. I am going to blame the divorce, broken hearts make you act like a freak and you look like shit.

Anyhoo, I feel like I have been fighting with Madge for a while. Like a wily teen I have stormed off to my bedroom more than a few times and screamed “I hate you” at the top of my lungs. Her last album really did suck for the most part, the last tour was tired, the pillow face was just awful and that crazy appearance on the Britney documentary! I just threw up in my mouth a little.

But she had redeemed herself of late, with a mostly quiet and dignified divorce, some hilarious toy boy action and the adoptions. Malawi-gate was a real storm in a sports cup for me, still surprised how it indescribably crippled newspapers for weeks and caused many an ill informed house wife to clutch her pearl necklace and spray Aeroguard in horror - what’s the problem really??! A rich lady wanting to adopt poverty stricken children..jeez people, just chill.

Anyway, add to that the new (old) face and word that Madge is holding off on recording a new album for a while but she could look at working with A-Trak when it happens, who is just an awesome DJ and so edgy, so I may start to be a fan again. Word to the wide though, it’s a different music world now, Lady Blah Blah is stomping about setting fire to pianos left right and centre, best take some time and do it right than doing it wrong again I think.

A + for effort, though must try harder to restrain contact with blond macrobiotic newsletter writing actresses and crotch thrusting.